little bit of my own wisdom.

So here we go.

I will start by putting you in my shoes for a minute. Granted most of you have probably experienced what I’m about to talk about. But if you haven’t, then just sympathize with me for a while.

How many times do you see one of your friends OBSESSING over a girl? For some reason, I see it. . . ALL THE TIME! Now I’m not talking about a guy who’s already in a relationship with a girl, and therefore very close to her. That, I guess, is perfectly acceptable.

I’m talking about this shit where a guy meets a girl, has a conversation with her, maybe gets her phone number, maybe talks to her on the phone, then maybe meets up with her, and then becomes OBSESSED!

Have you seen this happen?  For some reason, this girl has taken over this guy’s life. Now, for everything he does, he thinks about how its going to affect his chances with this girl, or what she’s gonna think of it. And furthermore, he obsesses about when to call, what to say, then analyzes the SHIT out of everything. It’s ridiculous to even think about, let alone watch it happen to one of your friends.

So then what happens? Well, there’s that small chance that your obsessed friend cools down, and actually starts acting like a man in front of this girl and things work out. That doesn’t often happen, sadly. So what does often happen? Well, the girl probably feels at least a tiny bit of attraction to the guy, and he, in turn, will be given that inch, take a mile, and completely scare the girl off.

Girls can sense when a guy is obsessed, and 95% of girls get freaked out and are scared away by it. There is that other 5% of females who have been ignored by men for most of their lives, so when an obsessed idiot comes along, throwing rose petals at their feet, they like it. Those girls are never worth the time though.

So where does this leave you, the friend? You witnessed and no doubt heard ALL ABOUT this ordeal from your obsessed friend. You heard about their first meeting, you saw him obsess, you saw it take over his life, and you saw it all crumble in front of his face. You had to stand there and watch the whole thing.

Ever been in that position? And furthermore, I’ll even ask if you’ve ever been in the position of the obsessed? Hey, it happens.

What do you do about it?

The advice that I give to people who have been through this rollercoaster ride of joy and pain over a girl they barely know is VERY simple:

You have to view dating and getting women as fishing not hunting.

One more time. . . You have to fish, not hunt.

Now don’t take any of this to mean that I’m equating women with animals, I definitely don’t mean that.

Here is what I do mean.

On an average session of fishing, how many times do you cast? I love fishing, so I’ll just use myself as a model. Let’s say I was fishing for 3 hours, I most likely cast between 50 and 100 times. From that session, if I leave with 2-3 fish, I’m pretty happy. If I leave with 20 fish, I’m ecstatic, and if I leave with no fish, then I’m pissed, but that very rarely happens.

Let’s put that same logic to work outside of fishing. Approaching or meeting 50-100 women, and being very successful with 2-3 of them is pretty good,  and perfectly acceptable. There have been nights where I have either approached, met, or had some type of conversation with at least 50 women, and if get 3 phone numbers, 3 dates, 3 whatevers, I see that as a successful night. And you should too.

Now let’s look at hunting. You’re focused. You’re much more focused and serious and determined than I am when I’m fishing. You scout out your prey for a long time, you watch it, you try to get the perfect timing to shoot, and when you do, if your shot isn’t perfect, the animal runs away. You see where I’m going with this?

You can’t view meeting and dating women as hunting. It’s a tough way to live. It’s a way filled with stress, anxiety, pressure, obsession, and many other unpleasant feelings. You take only a few shots. Maybe they hit, maybe they don’t. If they don’t, then you’re upset for a long time, until you’ve waited and found another animal.

When I’m fishing, if one cast (or attempt) fails, do you know how long I’m pissed for? About 3 seconds, eh, ok maybe 5 seconds. That’s the time it takes for me to recast. In the time that hunter shoots 5 times, I’ve cast 100 times. And I bet I had more fun, and more success.

I could go on and on about these two sports, and bore you with how it all relates to dating, but instead, let me just summarize.

Don’t hunt. Don’t focus all of your energy on one particular girl. It can be a lot of unnecessary pressure, and putting all of your eggs in one basket can lead to a lot of unnecessary disappointment. Instead, go fishing. Cast fifty to a hundred times, that way, if one doesn’t work, the next try is only seconds away, instead of hours, or days.  And once you’ve mastered that, you’ll be ready for THIS!

Stud On,
Anthony D