I know I wish I could have stayed in high school forever
but we have to move on. Fuckers that you picked on become
police officers, bullies become felons. The cheerleaders
get knocked up and discarded leaving them to rear a gaggle
of caramel-colored babies by their lonesome aided by
my weekly contribution of singles and the kids that everyone
hates that wants to take his dad’s 10-22 and bust
caps leaves for college. I mean it’s not like he
lacked the conviction in high school it’s just
there was a Buffy marathon and like a massacre could
totally wait a couple of years.
Some would ask about the campus police and their lack
of response. Are you fucking serious? Have you ever been
on a university? Think of the police force as a cross
between security guards that are aged to 109 and kids
just in it for the paycheck. Campus cops are a fucking
joke. Yea ok so you are walking by yourself and like
this homeless guy is totally following you. You think
back to orientation and the direct phone line kiosk to
the police station will help you? Fuck no! You might
as well take your expensive jeans off so they don’t
get ripped as the guy rapes you. You know bottom line
is you will be raped and the police will get there and
be like “Uh, raping is it? Fill these reports out
in triplicate and try not to get vaginal blood on my
electric cart.”
I think we all know the cause of this phenomenon of
school shootings. Not videogames or movies where people
have guns for limbs. Not even Asians who are retarded
good at videogames…first person shooters and fighting
games especially…hmm…no, not even them. Who
to blame is simple: Republicans. Republicans make guns
seem fucking awesome. Think about the most badass of
republicans, W, who has an army with I would wager a
safe estimate of several dozen guns just going off and
shooting up houses and cows that blaspheme against America!
How cool right? Don’t you want to go out and buy
a set of chrome 9mm pistols with your bodyweight in ammunition
and do a number on some fucks that give you guff just
like W?
Republicans like to equate guns to tools. Like
a mop or plunger, an AK-47 is a valuable tool in the
hands of a dude that will shoot your face off. How many
times I cannot count that I’ve read about plunger
bludgeoning. And shootings, well including this one,
um, like one. So bureaucrats lets think about how we
can fix this. Maybe the answer to this would be concealed
carry restrictions so one could pack in school. I mean
look at the old west where everyone had a six iron slapped
to their thigh, remember how safe everyone was then?
But maybe something simpler, like a fucking metal detector,
der and maybe a campus cop that doesn’t remember
Grover Cleveland’s inauguration or is all geeked
up on that shit.
Out
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength
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