Because of a family, der. So by deductive
logic, one could conclude that the message conveyed was
“Hey father-to-be replace that knocked up cum-dumpster
with a gun and bunch of your buds, just kicking back,
sucking brew as you guys tear ass through god-knows where.”
It’s the norm that the image of
the military has to be revamped from time to time. Army-Air
Corp and Merchant Marine commercials talking about civic
duty and pushing back Huns would not be effective in this
neon-lit, energy drink, trip-hop world. What grabs the
fighting age youth’s attention? Well machine guns
and Disturbed songs! Apparently the majority of youth
are saddos that are easily swayed by flashy gimmicks and
fast talking recruiters. If anyone’s ever taken
the ASVAB and went to MEPS you know what it is like, all
the recruiters want is a signature. The shysters would
tell you that a bevy of tricks would felate you while
a German brew master crafts you a beer drunk by Prussian
kings, all for your name scrawled on slip of paper bonding
you to servitude.
I see no problem with serving one’s
country in peacetime or if say a just occasion, maybe
some meanies came over and bombed an Baltimore & Ohio
Railroad depot. Whatever. A direct attack by a rival nation
would stir a sense of patriotic loyalty in all of us I’m
sure, but lets be honest would a random phone call by
some buck-sergeant recruiter make you sign up? Don’t
get me wrong; recruiters are charismatic as fuck like
any salesman. Therein lays my question: Why would they
need such a strong salesman pushing a product that’s
so great? Many-a-year ago I was one of those kids fresh
out of high school holding my dick with nothing to do.
So after talking to some recruiters I was down with getting
into shape and getting free college. Everyone likes free
money, right? I had waited too long and 9-11 happened,
and with it a fanatical patriotic wave of fascist-like
thinking.
First it was boo to Afghanistan then boo
to Iraq then consolidating it into an ‘Axis of Evil’
I’m sorry what was that Superman? Metropolis is
being threatened by the Axis of Evil? No those robotic-limbed
Monsters! Then to back it up the silly colored warning
system manifested. “No, Mary can’t go to school
today, it’s orange out.” Then the coalition
of do-gooders released the list of “possible terrorist
threats” in every possible state of the union. “Ah,
the Scmidt’s brewery, everyone take the tour now!
No, the Carr’s Crackers factory! Get their herb
and cheese biscuit at Cosco for $3.17 a box!” Needless
worry swept the country; a plague of stupidity and misinformation.
Everyone knows the axiom ‘Ignorance
is bliss’ But is it really? For the past few years
Ignorance was a weapon, the choice sword in an arsenal
of psychological warfare by a government unable to tell
the truth. Truth doesn’t get votes. Truth doesn’t
get support for inane wars. Truth doesn’t keep people
sedated as their rights are striped. But this has happened
before in history, it’s no surprise, if it’s
not evil Saxons or evil Assyrians or evil Russians or
evil Serbs, its evil zealous Moslems. We understand badness
lurks everywhere. So as plebs in this society we should
thank you for telling us what to fear.
One would think that after such ‘concrete’
evidence of evil and no-good-nickery, recruitment quota
numbers would not be missed month after month and enlistment
would not be at an all-time low. Rather we would have
an army of over a eleventy million and after stomping
the desert into sand…er…uh…steppes,
we would look toward space and the troublesome crab nebula
and all other nebulae that would dare let gays destroy
the sanctity of marriage or atheist devil worshipers talking
about evolution or anything else otherwise offensive to
the greatest and best nation in the world.
Out
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength
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