to
Baltimore we all took when I was nine. I didn't
really like any of them that day. It's fair -
they didn't like me much either.
One thing I've always loved is
my readers. Sometimes my readers and my family
are the same people, in which case I love them
twice as much. Except while driving to Baltimore,
in which case everything evens out.
Last week I wrote a column about
how affected I was by the death of Mitch Hedberg.
But I was affected more when I received over 100
e-mails, calls, IMs, and hugs wishing me comfort
and consolation. I got more response to that column
than anything I've ever written, probably because
it was the first time I really opened up in my
column since September 11th.
I wanted to write a little tribute
to my readers. And not just my readers, but everyone's
readers. Without them, writers wouldn't exist.
Some might, but they'd just be those emo kids
writing in their live journal hoping someone stumbles
on it during a google search.
Writers feed off the knowledge
that they're reaching people. With the exception
of the two weeks I took off after graduation,
I've written at least one column for the last
275 weeks, mainly because I knew people were reading
them.
My readers have done some pretty
cool things. They've driven hours to see shows,
e-mailed me on my birthday, and bugged their student
activities directors until they relented and brought
me in for a show so that people who had emailed
me on my birthday could then drive a few hours
to see it.
Many have defended my honor against
those who have sent me hatemail, participated
in petitions I've supported, and voted for me
in awards ceremonies. One particular instance
of support was extremely cool: After I wrote a
column about how off-putting Jews for Jesus can
be, one reader printed out 100 copies of that
column and handed it to Jews for Jesus pamphleteers.
My readers aren't always wonderful.
When you point out my typos in an unedited work,
well, that is annoying. When you correct my small
mistakes as if I can go back in time and change
my column, well, that is annoying. And when you
tell me that you want to stop reading my column
because it's not funny anymore but you'll give
me a few more chances, well, I unsubscribe you
before you get the chance. You'd know that now,
but I've already unsubscribed you. But overall,
I love you guys. (Said like a drunk man with his
arm around friends during last call).
Often I get asked how I come up
with 800 new words every single week. For me,
it's not coming up with 800 that is the problem
- it's limiting myself to 800. Anyone who knows
me knows I always have something to say. And you
people are kind enough to read it, or at least
let it sit in your mailbox and make me think you're
reading it.
So, thank you, readers. You make
it okay to fight the oil companies and insult
the bar jerks and get through life sans posterior.
Because I know you're always supporting me, except
those of you who I have to occasionally unsubscribe
because you were mean to me. But everyone left
is really swell.
Last week really was inspiring.
It was the most e-mails I'd ever gotten about
a column - even more than when I made fun of Fox
News. And that made me realize why I do what I
do. I write because there are actually people
who like it. As I head into the summer after spending
another year subsisting on fast food and getting
into car accidents, I smile knowing that each
week there are even more of you who will defend
my honor against hate mail and drive to see a
show and send me birthday wishes. But don't do
that next week because my birthday is not until
September.
Speaking of Fox News, last week
they announced that the pope died a full day before
he did. In response, CNN just gave Florida to
Hillary.
Sorry, I just needed to mock something
before I finished. I was getting a little antsy.
Steve
Hofstetter is the author of the Student Body Shots
books, which are available at SteveHofstetter.com.
He can be e-mailed at steve@stevehofstetter.com.
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